Sunday, June 21, 2009

Redeeming the Day

Oh yeah, right, motivation isn’t actually the problem here. I’ve worked hard to train myself to not do things—to not be motivated. It’s absolutely essential to keeping my symptoms down. But then, sometimes, I have a hard time getting myself to do things that I could do and want to do, like writing. So I work on being motivated, and I get myself to do things I want to do, and I get into them, and I do too much, or I do too many things, because it’s so fun doing things . . . and I stir up symptoms.

The challenge is to make the best choices I can within my limits: to make the best, most satisfying use of the energy, strength, and so forth that I’ve got. In some sense it’s everybody’s dilemma. Our lives are bounded, at the very least, by birth and death and the physiological limits of our bodies. When I find myself banging against my own limits, I try to bring my attention back to this basic question: What choices can I make that will lead to the most satisfaction with the least strain?

Ten minutes of writing, or one of cartooning, can redeem a whole day. I can almost always, these days, do at least that.

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