Monday, September 7, 2009

Journal Scraps: Answering the Phone

CALLER: Hello, may I please speak with Larry Gilman?

ME: No, I’m sorry, he’s not here right now.

CALLER: OK, well, could you take a message for me?

ME: Yeah, sure [getting up out of bed, getting to the desk, getting paper and pen]

CALLER: Well, wait—is this Mrs. Gilman?

ME: Yes.

CALLER: Oh—well, maybe then you can help me.

ME: Sure.

CALLER: Hi, Mrs. Gilman, my name is Mike. I’m calling from Hyatt Grand Vacations.

ME: We don’t take grand vacations. I’m chronically ill.

CALLER: Oh—you mean you’re telling me that you’re not interested in a vacation because of your illness?

ME: Yes.

CALLER: Well, I can certainly understand that, Mrs. Gilman, because I was in the hospital for 18 months. I can certainly understand what that’s like. But I can also tell you that what I looked forward to was taking a vacation when I got out.

ME: I’ve been sick for 16 years.

CALLER: So—you wouldn’t like to go to Las Vegas?

ME: I’d like to be taken off the calling list.

CALLER: Well, I can certainly do that.



  1. I tried googling "Hyatt Grand Vacations" and I'm pleased to see that your blog entry is the second of three results and by far the most interesting-sounding item. :-)

  2. Oh, lord.


    You're so much a better person than me, Pris. I would have said, "no, no Las Vegas for me, but I would like to squeeze your tiny head off like a pimple."

    (Okay, well, I wouldn't have said that, but only because I wouldn't have thought of it until after I hung up.)

  3. Honestly, my whole life is just one big Hyatt Grand Vacation, complete with all-you-can-eat buffet and people sticking their heads in the mouths of tigers.


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