Sunday, July 24, 2011

Simplify


Lately I’ve been lying in bed thinking of things to get rid of.  I can’t recommend it enough.  Great way to let go of the person you were going to be but have turned out not to be.  Not to mention the person you were but are no more.  Also, the person you thought you ought to be, but never really wanted to be.

In the evening, when Larry is available to obey my commands, I use him to make my dreams reality.  Stacks of books to pass on and mounds of stuff for the thrift store are growing, as is the peacefulness and functionality of the room where I spend my days.

Bye-bye Priscilla the scholar, performer, painter, dancer, dresser-upper, crafter, collaborative theater facilitator, social conflict studier, biker, swimmer, hiker, traveler, etc., etc., etc.  Bye-bye Priscilla who turned sick in college and still wants to finish what she started then.  Bye-bye Priscilla who dropped out of graduate school sicker and thinks she’ll get back to those projects sometime, somehow.  Bye-bye all past Priscillas, who are just fine being in the past and don’t need to be dragged along forever.

Bye-bye Priscilla who wants to impress and Priscilla who must prove herself.  Bye-bye Priscilla who thinks, without admitting it, that owning cool interesting nice objects will make her somebody that matters.  Bye-bye Priscilla who owns for the “ought” inside, for the person who gave her the thing she doesn’t need or really even want anymore, except to be for somebody else, some little bit, something she is not.  Who has energy for that anymore?  Good-bye Priscilla who wants to be everything, do everything, please everybody, who thinks if she works hard enough, she will do it.  Good bye all.

Hello now.

Hello open space, possibility, stillness, listening.  My life is small, real, good.  My little bowl of porridge is not too hot and not too cold.  I have three good chairs.  I have places to lie down where I need them, and my bed is not too hard or too soft.  There’s Larry working on his computer upstairs, despite the heat.  There’s the lush world outside my windows and birds still singing about summer.  There’s death coming and life renewing.  New writing and art and friendship and quiet and truth calling.  And enough space opening, here in my room, my home, my mind, my heart, for what is to breathe uncrowded and become what will be.  My enthusiasm bubbles up, apparently eternal.




11 comments:

  1. That's lovely, thank you! I'll do some of that myself this week :) I hang onto far too muchhat myself this week :) I hang onto far too much

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  2. Can I borrow Larry for a bit? I promise I'll give him back.

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  3. What a gift you are giving to your readers. Your words are inspiring and uplifting. They bring me a sense of loveliness and peace and order in the world. Thank you.

    Patricia Carter

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  4. Ah, such truth in your writing. I find myself wanting to do the same. And have a bit, but not nearly enough....

    It does make a person feel lighter and easier.

    Blessings to you and so happy that you are on a mission:) Finding the person you are. I like that!

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  5. Well said. We have been purging as we prepare for our sabbatical in Germany which starts in 3 wks. It feels good! SO many things that just don't matter anymore....gone!

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  6. Beautiful post. Yes, simplify. My illness has forced me to do this to some extent but I can do it more. So, I'm going to simplify!!

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  7. I have accepted my limitations and find joy in sitting on the back porch, watching the birds and petting my cat. I say I have accepted I will never go hiking again, canoeing or dancing. I say I will find joy just sitting by the river, instead of getting in it. I say I will find joy in making jewelry, even though I rarely have need to wear some of it. I say all of this. Yet, I can not bring myself to get rid of my canoe. It is a symbol of hope. I can live with the limitations. But I can't live without hope.

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  8. Couldn't agree more! Unfortunately my version of "Larry" has the same energy issues, so I have to do the lugging etc myself. Nevertheless I have resolved (just days ago) to dispose of 1 item each day. Slow, but I'll still get there.

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  9. You continue to amaze me. Thank you for every cartoon you draw and every word you write. With love from Belgium.

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  10. Wonderful post, thank you. Stephanie

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  11. oh priscilla how much i love you..and how lucky to be part of your world( i.e not one f the items thrown by Larry into thesimplified-away" bin :
    ) ).
    conversin' with the flowers, alan

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